To find out that a man is cheating on you is insanely painful and insulting. Worse than this situation can only be the realization that the best friend turned out to be an insidious lover.
A man is a rational adult person who is able to be responsible for his actions. So if a friend stole a loved one from you, you do not need to blame only her for it, both are to blame. Both knew that the man was already in a relationship, both seemed to be close to you, but still decided to betray you. However, most often the betrayal begins with the fact that your friend decided to take your husband away from you.
Female friendship, of course, exists, and most often it is no less strong than male. However, not all people are kind and decent, nothing can be done about it, and it does not depend on gender. You may not have time to notice in time that among those close to you there are those who want to destroy your life for one reason or another. As a result, you risk a lot to lose: for example, your spouse. Nobody urges you to stop communicating with all friends once and for all, just be more careful. If a friend decides to take the man away from you, she will quickly begin to act. And it is not at all necessary that your husband will be a decent person and will not betray you.
In order to attract the attention of your husband and show him that she is not only your friend, but also a beautiful and charming woman, your friend will certainly begin to flirt with your spouse. In this case, most likely, she will behave this way openly and directly with you. Do not think that such an attitude is just a joke, something more serious may lie behind such behavior. If, time after time, during gatherings with friends, when your beloved man is nearby, you feel superfluous and no one pays attention to you - this is a reason to sound the alarm.
In any situation, whether you quarreled with a man or, conversely, choose which gift to give him, your girlfriend will try in every possible way to put you in an unfavorable light and give “harmful” advice. Even if you don’t react to it at all and don’t act on her “useful” suggestions like “give him some rubbish and don’t worry” or “start to cheat on him to unwind,” this is a reason to think. You, like no other, should understand that your girlfriend is a smart person, which means that he can give such unreasonable advice only on purpose. Therefore, she wants to quarrel with your spouse, and for this she can have serious motives. For example, she herself wants to get the attention of your chosen one, but it's easier to do all this - belittling you and your behavior.
A friend who is completely and completely satisfied with her life and therefore completely not interested in destroying someone else’s will never even think of asking you strange and uncomfortable questions. For example, what your chosen one loves, how you got his attention, whether he is good in bed, and so on. If you constantly hear such questions from the lips of a friend and she is quite obsessive at the same time, it is hardly a matter of interest. Most likely, she probes the soil - checks how your chosen one will suit her, whether she will be well with him. And at the same time trying to find out the shortest paths to his heart in the most convenient and simple way - through you. Do not try to tell your friend anything in this case, no matter how intrusive she is and no matter how much she is offended by your secrecy. Otherwise, you literally with your own hands will give her husband back to her, after first bandaging it with a ribbon. If you doubt your friend’s intentions, check her out. For example, say that first of all, your man fell in love with your culinary skills. If the next time your “beloved” girlfriend brings home-made pies or cookies to your house - supposedly, just to try - then you have a rival for your husband’s attention.
If you suspect a friend that she decided to take your spouse away, then you should not deal with her. Better show your beloved man that nobody is better than you: dress beautifully, be charming and tender, give him more attention. As for the girlfriend, just try to minimize her contacts with your man, but in no case try to make a scandal. If she is not to blame and you are mistaken, she will be offended, and if she is guilty, then she will behave more secretively in the future. Take care of yourself and your relationship, share in the comments your opinion and experience, if any. And do not forget to click on the buttons to talk about the article on social networks and
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How to determine if a girl is trying to steal your boyfriend
This article is co-written by Paul Chernyak, LPC. Paul Chernyak is a licensed psychotherapist from Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.
The number of sources used in this article is 14. You will find a list of them at the bottom of the page.
Agree, it’s very unpleasant to see another girl flirting with your boyfriend. For many girls, this situation can be a real challenge. Perhaps she laughs too loudly at his jokes, at every opportunity she tries to touch him sensually or even flirts openly with him directly in public. It’s hard enough to decide how to behave in such a situation, because no one wants to slander another person, accusing him of indecent behavior or infidelity, but you also can’t tolerate behavior that hurts you. In fact, there is a way to find out if this girl is really trying to steal your boyfriend from you - this is exactly what our article will be about. In addition, this will help to make sure that your relationship is not in danger, that you are loved and desired. So, to understand whether this girl is trying to steal your boyfriend from you, proceed to the first step!
1. She suddenly stopped digging into you
For some unknown reason, the girl suddenly stopped bitching, rolling up jealousy scenes, paying attention to unexposed bins and your barbaric habit of picking your teeth with a screwdriver. You can, of course, assume that it was not for nothing that you choked on burnt paper to the chiming clock, and Grandfather Frost finally deigned to fulfill your wish. But, rather, nevertheless, the girl’s behavior is explained by the fact that her focus of attention has shifted and she simply stopped paying attention to you. I suspect that you may not be in the know: very often a woman is sawing, harassing you with complaints and expressing her dissatisfaction with and without, not at all because she is a sadist and a hysterical woman. But because (just please, do not laugh), that she holds on to you, loves and does not want to stop loving one fine day because of some damned buckets and teeth there. This is called “fighting for relationships” in female jargon.
Now, when the romance on the side is just beginning, your friend has not yet managed to break the car of firewood, become entangled in a fake alibi and finally wallow in lies and debauchery. She is not ashamed and dreamy, but, on the contrary, fun, good and courageous. She finally feels lively and interesting. So at this stage, she does not care about what is happening to you - and to you as a couple. Yes, surely then, when remorse begins to torment her, she will transform into a real vixen. And how to give it a drink, it will break through to convict you of treason - thereby projecting onto you what is happening to herself, and trying to find an excuse for her own non-kosher behavior (and the best excuse is usually that you are a sloppy bummer and a womanizer yourself literally forced her into the arms of another). But it will be later. In the meantime, a blissful calm. And I hope I managed to convince you that it should alert you.
By the way, one of the “classic signs” of betrayal is an increase in housekeeping when a girl, for the removal of suspicions and pacification of the voice of conscience, non-stop cooks, scatters and cleanses, - in my opinion, it is not particularly relevant at the stage of the origin of the left-wing novel. The girl, I repeat, is now in the clouds. And in this state, we are usually not up to plungers and dumplings. Therefore, most likely, she will shamelessly skimp on her duties at home and not shy away from feeding you semi-finished foods for dinner.
2. She made new friends
She used to have no one to go to with “P. S. I love you ”(no matter how you pleaded with her to enjoy the sobbing Butler in the company of girls, and you are generously saved from this torture). And now she spends most of the evenings this week with Nadenki, Irishka and Olenka, who came from nowhere. On the one hand, “I'll be late, I’m meeting with Olenka, well, you remember, this is the one we met on Pilates” - it can be a banal lie. Not Olenka there, but some whiskered Leo Venediktovich and a reserved hotel room, of which you, of course, are not supposed to know.
On the other hand, it really can be new friends. Because the old guard is not a fact that he will praise his goods for Lev Venediktovich and everything that they do there on state sheets. Especially if you and a girl have been together for a long time, her friends managed to come to terms with your candidacy and even began to sympathize with your couple. Instead of giving the traitor the opportunity to savor the details of an unauthorized novel, they can easily condemn her, admonish and spoil the mood with their highly moral: “Are you really stupid ?! What the hell Leo, besides Venediktovich ?! March home! ”But the woman needs to pour out everything painful somewhere. For this, new friends are needed, who usually, on the contrary, listen to jokes about other people's love ups and downs.
It is logical that the traitor will look at your absences with friends and business trips without conviction, as before, but calmly and even with joy. In this situation, it’s even in her hand that you will find something to do without her. Husband with business / classmates / football / Sacred 3 / new spinning means she is free to do anything and with anyone.
3. She's prettier
Blush, sparkle in the eyes, a heap of new dresses - it's all obvious and simple, like pasta in a navy style. About the dresses, by the way, for some reason is mentioned in each article about the infidelity that I have read. But, in my opinion, it is more indicative when the girl suddenly begins to pay increased attention to what is under her dress. No, I do not claim that we girls begin to do deep hair removal and pedicures, buy vicious lace and pierce the navel to screw a playful strazik there, only if we have a lover. But you must admit: the relations of people who have been together for a long time are to some extent colored by domestic licentiousness. Being a wife or a girl friend with experience, a girl can sometimes afford to stay a la still life: with spiky legs, stale armpits, peeling nail polish and chintz peas.
Another thing is if she is in the midst of an affair. Here you have to be fully armed around the clock. The life of an unfaithful woman is a sheer challenge and impromptu. It is with the husbands that they end up in bed on a predictable schedule, and they run off to their lovers early in the morning, and at lunchtime, and instead of evening Pilates training. In short, draw conclusions if your girlfriend suddenly began to behave as if she was working as a lingerie model who, without clothes, must look better than in the most luxurious dress from McQueen.
4. She speaks and behaves somehow differently.
One of the main symptoms of the presence of a new gentleman in the life of a woman and the fact that they have everything there seems to be serious is the suddenly changed profile of her interests. And the vocabulary, for no reason, replenished with new words. A rare girl can just sleep with a man, limiting herself to the mean “Hello. I have an hour and a half. " We also need a lover in order to talk. And in some cases - and mainly for this. Of course, a woman will inevitably absorb, like a sponge, everything that he broadcasts to her there in her spare time from bed. In short, you should be tensed if a girl suddenly begins to speculate that it is better to catch crucian carp for pearl barley and in windy weather - although you are ready to swear that before she was as far from the topic of fishing as Nadezhda Kadysheva from the title Miss Universe.
Traces of other people's influence sometimes manifest themselves in sex, which, by the way, does not always disappear from your life with a girl with the appearance of her lover. Yes, there is an opinion that the unfaithful will by all means evade conjugal duties. But this does not always happen and not with everyone. So, one of my spree friends, on the contrary, purposefully began to give her husband increased erotic attention in order to reduce his vigilance. (“A satisfied man is a curious man.”)
Another unfaithful friend behaved in the same way with her boyfriend, but without much secret intent. “Since I got Vanya (lover. - approx. Auth.), I feel such courage and drive,” she explained, “that we began to fuck more with Kolya (boyfriend. - approx. Aut.)” . Another thing is that sometimes it’s difficult not to transfer the bed preferences of a lover to a regular partner. And, between us, the aforementioned Kolya suddenly became interested in the contents of his girlfriend’s phone (and found there a lot of interesting things) not just like that, but also because she took the way to nibble his nipples during the foreplay, which he always did not tolerate. So a sudden change in sexual style can also qualify as an alarming symptom.
5. She is inseparable from a phone / tablet / computer
The girl, probably, would like to spend all her free time wrapping her legs around the lover's slender camp, but she cannot afford it for obvious reasons. Therefore, she will look for opportunities to maintain communication, at least virtually - the benefit is social networks, instant messengers, Skype and other SMS. From now on, and until the sinful connection makes a dying rattle, the phone and computer will become her best friends. Whenever you look at her, she will surely stare at the screen, constantly filling up with a Kustodievsky blush, and to your reasonable question: “Who is it so late?” Muttering something unintelligible about work or another Nadya who was allegedly bit raccoon or detained with 300 g of heroin at the Tel Aviv airport.
The main commandment of the traitor - not to leave evidence, get rid of incriminating messages and ruthlessly rub history of correspondence - a woman very often ignores. Yes, she is aware that it’s easy to burn on this. But the vague prospect of being convicted of treason (and every infidel fancies himself a conspiracy genius) is nothing compared to the opportunity to re-read it a hundred times a day, how they miss and want it so much that the lightning on jeans bursts.
Of course, she will try by all means to protect her personal life from your sudden intrusion: password protect the phone and computer, enter social networks only from her tablet, hide the devices in the closet, and lock the closet on a barn lock - despite the fact that before I scattered them wherever I got . So your completely harmless request to call from her phone or use her computer can easily bring a girl to a heart attack. She’d better eat them right before your eyes, explaining her strange behavior by the fact that she doesn’t have enough iron in her body, which allows her to touch them.