Useful Tips

How to forget the girl you love, but she is not you


So, let's start with the basics, without which all further actions will be completely useless. If you want to truly forget her, start with your social networks. Unsubscribe from her on Instagram, delete from friends on VKontakte, block on Facebook, stop following on Twitter, finally forget about her other pages.

Otherwise, you will be obsessed with all its actions on the network. Each of her entries will seem to you a reference to your relationship, each new like from some guy will seem to you the beginning of her new relationship with someone else.

Subsequently, your paranoia will go so far that you will not be able to do the usual things and for a long time you will be stuck at the screen of your gadget in endless experiences.

Just unsubscribe from her, and that’s it.

2. Get started

“I already work, geniuses”- you will think and you will be right. However, we mean a real immersion in the workflow, a sharp shift in your priorities towards a career.

Ask to give you more responsibilities at work (suddenly you will even be promoted), try to get new career goals, achieve what you did not achieve before. In short, direct all your energy of frustration to your career. So you will think much less about her, and, perhaps, you will completely forget.

3. Take off your pink glasses

After a break with loved ones, many people have an irresistible urge to idealize and romanticize their past, believing that this was the best relationship in their life. We have no doubt that you had wonderful times together, but be honest with yourself and admit that not everything was always smooth.

Therefore, take your gadget or piece of paper (if you prefer) and make a list of things that annoyed you in your ex. Also, do not forget to enter there all the cases of your quarrels and quarrels.

Now you have a tool that will help you go down to the earth whenever you want to remember how perfect your relationship was.

Just reread it at such moments.

4. No more random encounters (with her)

If you know where she works, where she goes on weekends, with whom she talks and how she likes to spend time in the evenings, this does not mean that you need to use this information.

You should not think that if you allegedly accidentally take a walk near her place of work, she will notice you and understand how wrong she was, after which she will rush into her arms to ask for reunion.

Most likely, you will meet, exchange some on-duty remarks, create a tense atmosphere for each other, and after all this she will still think that you are desperate and will want to see you even less.

5. Stop comparing yourself to her new boyfriend

Camon, this is the worst thing you can do if she has a boyfriend after your breakup. It is curious that no matter how good you are, in such situations, men always lack the qualities that their rivals have. Even if they are not.

We strongly advise against viewing his profiles on social networks, hoping to understand what she found in him.

6. Now think how much money you no longer have to spend.

No more traveling together, going to bars and restaurants, expensive gifts and special occasions. A huge advantage of the relationship is the unexpected cost savings.

Now that you are alone, you can afford much more than before, and you do not have to spend money where you could not spend money at all.

7. Speak out

If you have held back your feelings about your break for a long time, it's time to let them out. To do this, you can invite your best friends to the bar, tell them everything you think about your failed love, shout a little how to drink (just do not overdo it), and then wake up the next day with the feeling of a reborn person.

Naturally, in order to completely move away from bitter thoughts, a person needs time. Allow yourself to get a little warm, just don’t get depressed and be able to throw out your emotions at the right time.

8. However, know when to stop

Everything in this life should be in moderation, even sorrow for your unhappy relationship. Therefore, if you think too much and tell everyone about your problem, you can seriously focus on it.

You can talk about it endlessly, but it will not change anything. At some point it turns out that you simply scroll through the negative memories in your head and share them with others. Again and again.

In this case, it is better to take positive action and, finally, let go of the past.

9. Start reading a lot

Another surefire way is to stop thinking about the girl you like. Because, as we all know, books are a real balm for the soul. Make yourself a long list of everything that you once wanted to read, and also do not forget to ask for recommendations from friends and on thematic resources.

At some point, negative thoughts simply will not have a place in your head, and it will become much easier for you.

10. Enjoy being alone

To truly feel free from relationships, allow yourself to do everything you could not when you met a girl. Now you can go anywhere, chat with anyone, and return home whenever you want. Do whatever you see fit. Nobody will tell you now that this is wrong.

Just in case: act within the law.

12. Stop biting yourself

Do not blame yourself for the fact that you still can not get rid of thoughts about the former. Do not blame yourself for violating our advice, for watching her instagram to see how she is doing. You should not blame yourself for the fact that you have already lounged several times in her favorite cafe, hoping to meet her.

Being angry with yourself in such cases is not the most productive feeling. It prevents you from forgetting the former girl and moving towards a new life, in which you will find many interesting events and people.

If at the moment it’s not so easy for you to put up with the thought of a break, remember that time is the best way to heal broken hearts. Therefore, continue to live your own life, reflect (but without fanaticism), go about your business and at some point you will realize that you cannot remember the last time you thought about your ex.

Step 1: Understand the Reason

After parting with your beloved, your thoughts turned into a pile of gray dust, into a chaos of small, cold snowflakes that painfully dig into your bleeding heart, your wounded soul. Your heart screams, pleads for her love, your soul cannot live without her, your body longs for intimacy with her. All this is so. It hurts you a lot. Empty words of comfort will not help you, it can only get worse. They say time is the best healer for wounds. Time will heal your wounds if you yourself try to understand the reasons that led to the break with your girlfriend. It will be very difficult for you to objectively analyze the situation. Resentment will overwhelm you, it will seem to you that only she is to blame. But remember, only one side is not to blame for the conflict itself. You will begin to gradually recall those small details of your relationship that you did not notice before, or tried not to notice, those small details that caused the crack that arose between you.

So, she is to blame. Of course, you can consider yourself an ideal man without flaws, but all people are different and each has his own character and his own outlook on life. How confident were you in her feelings for you? Did she really love you with that great and unquenchable love, which only flares up more from the obstacles encountered in her path. Think for yourself if she loved you, she would not break off your relationship without a fight, without explanation, without trying to get things right, start over. After all, one should cherish real feelings; one cannot throw them away as an unnecessary thing. But your girlfriend didn’t do that? She just left without saying anything. Half-hints, half-phrases, without emotions, without tearing feelings, without the intensity of passion. Agree, where there is love, there cannot be no passion. She is gone. This is her choice. Of course, you can wait for it, you can rush about like a bird caught in the net, you can tear your hair out, you can do a lot of nonsense. But will any of this change? She made her choice consciously. From now on, she has her own life, and you have your own. She will start a new relationship, she will find, or have already found, another man who is better than you in her eyes, who can completely replace you. It’s not easy to realize, it’s not easy to come to terms with it, it is not easy to understand, it is even more difficult to forgive. But it needs to be done. And move forward.

So, you are to blame. To realize this thought will be almost unbearable for you. In our own eyes, we are rarely ever to blame. Often we act, as we consider necessary. Are you sure you always took into account the opinion of your beloved? But without this it is impossible to build harmonious relations. How honest were you with your girlfriend, how often did you share secrets with her, did you support her in everything? Have you exchanged it for momentary entertainment, for a fleeting whim? Give an honest answer to these questions! Deal with yourself, with your thoughts, with your desires. Not justifying yourself, admit your mistake, it will serve you as a good lesson in the future and will save you from further insults and disappointments.

Step 2: Take A Break

Having understood the reason for your breakup, you can finally move on. It does not matter where to move, in which direction, it does not matter what to do. The main thing is, in general, to occupy yourself with something, to be distracted. But only her to think about her, how she may suffer, what she does, with whom she walks, how she rests. That's just what you do not need to think about. Immerse yourself in work, flood yourself with business with your head, go on a business trip, on a trip, anywhere, have fun with friends, visit your parents. Thinking about your ex-girlfriend all the time, you won’t be able to understand that life is possible without her, that the sun continues to shine and even warm, that everything else in your life can still get better.

You ask yourself how to forget an ex-girlfriend. Start with your thoughts first. However, this is not enough. Every photo, every thing left by her reminds you of her. Tears welling up in your eyes, you begin to repent, think about the need to reconcile, look for a reason to call her, write, meet. This is the road to nowhere. Get rid of all her things, her photos, everything that reminds you of her.

Switch your attention. In the courtyard of the 21st century with all its capabilities. Register in one of the social. networks, or on a dating site, find those with whom you will be interested in talking, with whom time will fly by unnoticed, who will distract you from gloomy, dull thoughts. And perhaps, quite unexpectedly, you will feel sympathy for someone, you will want to meet, chat live. A chance acquaintance can develop into something more and then, who knows, a new feeling will crowd out old pain and resentment from the heart. This will be the best way out of this situation.

Step 3: Open your eyes wider

How to stop thinking about the girl you idolized? The main problem in the rejection of old relations is obsession with them. It always seems to you that life has stopped, that your ex-girlfriend was the best of all women in the world, that you will never meet anyone more beautiful, dearer, closer, etc. But this is far from the case! The world is full of beautiful, wonderful women who just dream of having a relationship with someone. Well, to marry such a cool guy like you, not a single girl in the world will refuse! You just have to have a desire to meet someone, you have to overcome yourself and start a new page in your life. We must want to live, enjoy the day, go outside, breathe the air with our full breasts and look around. You will be surprised that everything around is moving, running, in a hurry, that there are a lot of people on the street, and they are talking, laughing, gesturing. All this will lead you to the idea that life is taking its normal course, and no one cares about your problems, the earth has not stopped spinning. So, maybe your pain is not so global? Everything can be changed, right?

Open your eyes wider! Notice all the details of the people around you, their characters, their behavior, their hobbies. You will see around you a lot of interesting guys and girls with whom you will definitely want to meet. If you like a girl, don’t stop, even if you don’t immediately feel that very deep feeling for her. Start small and you will see how your life changes. Above all, do not compare new relationships with old ones. What happened, then passed, the departed cannot be returned.

Finally, recall examples from the personal experience of your friends or acquaintances. After all, not only you beloved girlfriend threw. Around is full of such examples. Someone left his wife, someone left his girlfriend. Are they all alone? Of course not! Your friends also suffered and did not find a place for themselves from grief, they were also inconsolable. But time passed and you probably learned about the changes in their lives, that they had found new halves, found meaning in life, filled their void with new joys, feelings, emotions. Focus on these positive examples and you will realize that not everything is lost in your life.

Step 4: Time Heals

Do you think you feel sick from this hackneyed phrase? Are you breaking into those who advise you to wait and put your thoughts in order? Indeed, that may be good in time. One dull day replaces another, so one endless week lasts for another, weeks change for months. You do not leave the thought of how slowly time stretches. One day is equivalent to a year. At first glance, all this seems terrible. But if your previous feeling was really strong and the real pain will not go away as quickly as you think. Day after day gloomy thoughts will torment you, even minutes will be unbearable for you. Yes, all this is difficult, but you will be convinced that with each day, week, month, it will become easier and easier for you. New emotions, relationships, problems, worries will slowly but surely displace your old pain. Looking at the old photo of your former girlfriend, you will no longer experience such acute suffering as before, you will no longer care what she does and with whom she is now. It should be so if you are on the right track. Your previous feelings will be dulled until they turn into a lump of barely noticeable something and you are surprised to ask yourself what it was.

There is a saying known to us since school time: “Everything flows, everything changes.” Remember, no matter how unbearable your pain is, it will pass with time. Just surrender to the slow but steady flow of time, its lulling waves, which will surely take you to the other side of your life.

Also remember that in spite of the leisurely time, it ruthlessly flies like a storm in the desert, falling asleep with its sands the gapeous travelers. You should not “freeze” your life, your feelings, emotions, excessively indulge in a soothing nightmare, forced inaction for too long. Even a medicine becomes poison if abused.

Step 5: don't be afraid of emotions

Often, parting with a loved one is like a small death. Naturally, not in the literal sense of the word, but in the emotional, sensual. All the emotions that connect you with your previous relationships slowly die, and the soul turns into a burnt out desert. Mentally “letting go” of your former partner to freedom, psychologically realizing the futility of attempts to continue the past, to return it (and, as you know, there is no way to return the past), you begin to panic fear of the new. You do not want to worry about what has already been experienced, it seems to you that having struck up a new relationship, you will surely repeat the old mistakes, again you will feel the same pain that has devastated you for so long. Just thinking about it makes me feel bad. However, you need to think about a new one! By linking yourself to the old, you will not live fully on. Of course, if you do not want to lead a reclusive lifestyle.

Do not be afraid to show emotions. This rule applies more to men than women. After all, whatever one may say, boys are raised in childhood in a different way than girls. The girls are told that they can be weak, that they can cry when they feel bad, lean on the strong shoulder of their father, brother, husband. Women are not afraid of emotions, the moral principles of society allow them to show feelings. Another thing is a man. From childhood, they are told that they are a strong half of humanity, that they are the support of women, a strong shoulder, etc. In truth, the way it should be. But remember that even the iron bends, if you put more pressure on it. The moral attitude for men to be strong makes them keep everything in themselves, to be calm and confident in appearance. But inside everything is in full swing, and from this you better not become. Without releasing steam in time, you risk your own health, both physical and psychological. Therefore, do not lock yourself in, find a person whom you can trust and share your feelings with him. If there is no such person among your relatives, do not hesitate to turn to a psychologist for help. Вовремя оказанная поддержка значительно облегчит ваши страдания и посодействует скорейшему выздоровлению.

Если вы примите во внимание вышеперечисленные советы, в скором времени боль от расставания с любимой женщиной начнет утихать, вы сможете посмотреть на мир другими глазами и вполне возможно заметите ту единственную, которая будет с вами всегда и уже никогда не уйдет к другому. If you have questions, write in the comments, be sure to answer. Always yours, Pantelei.