Useful Tips

How to get rid of grouchy and increase optimism?


Youth ends in youth. Or at least people behave that way. But on the other hand, we often hear that youth is not only a matter of time, it is also a state of mind and a state of mind. At 25, it seemed to me that the 40-year-olds were already old. And at 40 I felt young, internally better than at 25, and did not notice any signs of old age.

But I met a lot of people who, according to their passport, 55 look at 40, and in their souls and physically at 25. But I also saw those who at 30–40 looked at 45–55, and their thoughts and health were all 60– 70, and were already preparing to move to another world and regretted the wrong past life.

You can be old at 25 or young at 55. The choice is yours.

But if you want to keep your youth in your soul and body, here are some tips for you:

  • Your surroundings affect you. And you influence the environment.

Keep track of who you are talking to. There are people who pull down, and there are people who inspire and support. If you are unable to change them for the better, then perhaps you should not communicate with some of them? If at 25 it seemed something shameful, at 40 I realized that it was normal.

I remember how my friend began to learn a new foreign language. I asked him why? He replied that when I study, I feel young, I feel like a child again. He was then well over 40. I was surprised how simple and effective it is.

Henry Ford said: "Anyone who has stopped learning has become old, and it doesn’t matter how old he is: 20 or 80. Anyone who studies, retains his youth."

Never stop learning. Remember what you really wanted since childhood, but never managed to realize? Learn to play the piano, draw, swim, roller skate, learn Chinese? Start learning and it will be a double pleasure.

  • Enjoy simple things and deeds.

Do not forget to find time for simple amenities. Rollerblading, swimming, sitting on the beach or in the park, feeding the birds, walking barefoot in the grass, lying in the park and reading something. Splashing around in the fountains. Go to an exit yoga training on the seashore.

  • Allow yourself to laugh and smile more often.

Remember the Buddha Smile meditation? In youth, all her ears buzzed. Just like in childhood, a song: "A smile will make the world brighter ..." But the smile works, maybe you shouldn’t turn your nose from it, but listen and start applying? Start each day with a smile and laughter, they are useful both for your health and for your mood.

Smile slightly all day - for yourself, not for someone. Scientifically proven that laughter improves the functioning of the lungs, heart, stomach. Smile and laughter relax tension, change attitude, reduce pain in the body, including the parasympathetic system, which rejuvenates.

Exercise is good for your mind and body. This is another way to feel young or even a child. Physically active people get sick less, work more efficiently and earn more. Frequent physical activity gives a feeling of strength, health and self-confidence and a wonderful state of mind and spirit.

The body can be called the only machine that wears out more when inactive than when it acts. Movement means life, movement stops or reverses the aging processes of the body. You need to do everything possible to maintain your health and body. And you will feel young at any age.

If you expect an improvement in the situation around you, for example, you will find a better job, earn more money, start a family, have a baby, buy more housing to feel happy, then most likely you will live a short and unhappy life. Moreover, external achievements cannot make you happy.

There is no secret in how to be happy - just be so in the conditions and environment in which you live, as you are. And as soon as you begin to feel happiness inside yourself, everything around you will begin to change for the better. The inner sensation of happiness is primary, and the outer one will follow it. On the contrary, it does not work.

Just feel happy - no matter what happens around you.

  • Stop being nervous about all the little things.

You cannot avoid stress, but you can stop worrying about everything. Find a way to calm down and release stress. For some it is a sport. For some, yoga, meditation, fishing, cottage, travel, swimming.

If you are unable to release stress, then you need to change your lifestyle, after which it will be harder for a while, but then you will feel calmer and better. For example, one may find another job. In some places it’s better not to work, health is not enough.

  • Get rid of guilt.

In youth there was no guilt, then there was unconsciousness. Then guilt replaced the conscience and decency. But this is far from the same thing. It is a mistake to consider that decent and decent people blame themselves for everything, worry about something that they did wrong.

Feelings of guilt just need to be let go. You will not become unscrupulous if you stop blaming yourself for something, even if it seems reasonable to you. But healthier and stronger - just become. Feel free to release the blame, even if these are difficult situations - they interfere with life, and the sooner you understand and do this, the faster you will be younger.

  • Visualize yourself young and infinitely energetic.

Visualization or dreaming or dreaming is one of the most powerful means to achieve goals. You can visualize or dream by creating a plan of desired achievements and scheduling each step in small steps. And then dream of going through each step to achieve your dream. It feels like an anticipation of an event, or observing oneself from the side. Dream is not "what do you think about", and then "what do you think".

Yes, this will not save you from difficulties and does not replace planning, as well as the need to make efforts and maintain discipline. But a dream (visualization) will greatly simplify your path and maintain a connection between the current stage and your future dream.

Few people can appreciate and enjoy their youth in their youth. But you can survive your second youth and fully enjoy this wonderful feeling for the rest of your life, no matter how much you live: 80 or 120 years.

If you read the book The Laughter of the Shaman, you probably noticed that the so-called shaman was young and strong in body and spirit, even more than the author, who was about 50 years old, and the shaman was more than 100-110 years old.

P.S. Leave a comment below - I and other readers will be interested in your opinion.

Main reasons

Where does the habit of grumbling come from? In fact, psychologists are convinced that such a manifestation arises due to the inconsistency of the invented illustration in the head and the actual picture.

That is, people who are inclined to be indignant cannot allow what is happening in their reality! They would have done, organized, thought or controlled not as suggested!

As a result of such injustice, in their opinion, the level of irritability and nervous strain increases. And all because the behavior of other relatives is not consistent and conflicts with the personal, I would say, internal representation.

The culprits of irritability are most often the work or personal relationships. It is precisely because of malfunctions in these two important aspects of life, that a person rushes to others or situations that behave differently than the leader would like!

Before you start working on such a problem, it is worth understanding what kind of grouchy attitude your case refers to?

Signs of grouchy

  • Excessive irritability, especially if the problem is minor,
  • explosive temperament
  • nervousness,
  • anxiety,
  • “Conversations” with inanimate objects,
  • lack of tolerance, tolerance,
  • the desire to dominate, control and subordinate the will of other people,
  • emotionality
  • private mood swings,
  • reproaches and remarks
  • lack of friends
  • psychosis, neurosis, prolonged depression.


Understanding where the legs of a problem grow from is much easier to deal with. You need to find out what specifically annoys you? These may be situations, human qualities, one's own inner world, or external stimuli.

Write out all the components on a piece of paper, describing each item in detail. Thus, you will form a zone for working out your own reaction to undesirable nuances that will always be present in life to one degree or another. Your main goal is to minimize their influence and adjust your own sense of self.

Modeling and breathing

One of the best remedies for a grouchy lifestyle is modeling. What does this mean and how does it work? Suppose you feel a strain due to the fact that the event takes on a swing or movement in the wrong direction you would like to.

Instead of tolerating what is happening and resenting, try to simulate the situation in such a way that a sense of comfort is present in the process.

You can afford to leave the place, take a walk and calm down. In addition, breathing exercises are highly recommended. Take at least 10 deep breaths and slow exhalations. Feel how the pulse slows down, and the desire to calm down is embodied in reality.

Constructive criticism

More often than not, grumbling people make the same mistake: they criticize, but don’t talk about how they would like to resolve or see the situation? Destructive criticism carries with it continuous aggression and resentment.

That is why it is so hard to build communication with the individual, which water the qualities, actions and words of the opponent with all available synonyms of indignation.

Make it a rule to speak concretely, in essence, and of course constructively, without going personal. This will help you to express your own desires, but also not to offend those present. In addition, the use of this approach helps relatives understand your motivation and not consider claims on their own account.

Eradicate the negative

When a person is hurt, he seeks to hurt others. A similar phenomenon occurs when a person is happy. In order not to grumble at life, it is necessary to learn to see in it not only negative consequences, but also the positive aspects of each moment.

Optimism helps to overcome hostility and aggression. If you feel a rush of grouchy phrases, try to stop and consider something positive or funny in a situation.

But be careful with irony or sarcasm - it is also a manifestation of hidden aggression that has not been expressed. Try to sincerely rejoice at the event, see in it kindness, unusualness and versatility.

A smile and friendliness can become your reliable shield in the moments of leaving the comfort zone. This is constructive, saves resources of the nervous system and, besides, brings joy to others!

Build self-esteem and self-esteem

If you grumble, you want to be heard. Your ego requires agreement with the grown opinion! Help yourself to be realized and confident that you are interesting! Remember merit, achievement and ambition.

But only by action can you prove to yourself that you deserve respect and praise. It is not for nothing that they say that everyone who knows how to manage the country has been working as taxi drivers for a long time.

Therefore, in order to maximally vividly feel your own significance, I advise you to do things, and not to rant about how to do it!

Do you think that the flowerbed near the house is not dug up so that the flowers in it grow not so? Demonstrate your example literally, that is, with your own hand. A surge of attention and praise - you are guaranteed!

Let people and events happen without your assessment and control

Remember, each person has the right to act as he sees fit. It is necessary to make maximum efforts in order to understand this, as well as to realize and, moreover, apply at your own expense.

You do not need to control things that happen by default. You can only change what is your area of ​​responsibility. Therefore, do not encroach on someone else's!

In the eternal pursuit of the implementation of your own rules and beliefs, you run the risk of losing joy in life, acquiring sheer discontent and gloom. Ask yourself what you get grumbling? Joy? Most likely, you get a powerful dose of your own negative, which outweighs the adequate sense of self-preservation.

Take the tactics of an outside observer as a rule. Do not rush to people with advice and do not heat up the Universe, otherwise, you will not be able to get anything from this planet alone when you lonely coo with yourself about the injustice of the world.

Friends, I will end here.

Subscribe to updates, and in the comments tell us how you solve the problem?